I want to give up

Fuck dating. That's where I am today. Seriously. Ready. To. Give. Up.

Can you relate? You know those times when you've just had one too many bad dates, selfish partners, rejections, or heartbreaks?

I'm there today. I might be a dating coach, and a therapist, but I am human, and a dating human, on top of that. And sometimes I just can't take it anymore. 

I sat here all morning thinking of what I would write to you, and I couldn't write anything. I didn't feel like writing about love and dating, because today I hate love and dating. And sometimes, we just gotta lean into that feeling.

I know I'm not alone in this. I hear it from you all the time. You can't bear the rejection, the pressure, the vulnerability. You want to stop. You want to hide. You want to give up. 

So I'm going to talk myself through this for you...for both of us. 

Its ok to want to give up. Its ok to retreat and take a breather. Dating requires a full emotional gas tank, and when your tank is low, you have to stop and refill it. You can't keep driving on empty. 

Its easy to get stuck in the dating rat race and the feeling of scarcity that tells us that if we take a break, we will miss that perfect person that was just one swipe away. And then we keep going, despite our weary hearts. 

WHAT IF WE TRUSTED THAT THE TIMING IS ALWAYS PERFECT?

What if this was just part of finding your beloved? What if your beloved isn't ready for you yet, so these detours are meant to keep you in neutral, just waiting until the perfect time? What if?

What if you just leaned in to your pain and exhaustion and refueled that gas tank with some self-love? What if you just dated yourself for awhile?

What if you just honored the process and let go of trying to make it work?

What would be different in your heart today? In your mind? Your body?

Remember that sometimes finding love isn't full of rainbows and butterflies, its a cold and its a broken Hallelujah (thank you, Leonard Cohen).