Chelli Pumphrey,MA, LPC
Coach. Mentor. Guide.
Kind of like your best friend, but with advice that Actually works. (Sorry, girlfriends & Wingmen).
Sometimes we need more than a shoulder to cry on. We need truth and the wings to help us fly.
Here's my story... in case you wanna know. Over 20-some-odd years ago, I became a therapist.
I LOVE being a therapist. It has been quite a journey to partner with people in their most vulnerable states to help them find healing and growth.
It’s always amazed me, though — how people became therapists. I mean, here were people with problems of their own saying they could help other people with their problems! I decided that I didn't want to be the kind of therapist who made people think that I had no problems. I wanted to be a different kind of therapist. You know, the human kind.
I realized that I had to be transparent, authentic, and vulnerable with others in order for me to help them find the courage to be seen in their own lives and relationships. (And I found it terrifying to expose myself in such a vulnerable way!)
My biggest realization?
I was hiding.
I was hiding.
I was hiding from the truth about my not so happy relationships and then a marriage.
I was hiding my ME because I never felt she was good enough.
I was hiding what I loved because I thought that other people wouldn’t find it attractive.
So, needless to say, I got divorced and shook some things up in my life.
And I stayed hidden. I played the chameleon, morphing myself into someone that I thought the man in front of me would love. Changing myself to gain approval of men that weren’t actually worthy of my approval.
Maybe that sounds familiar.
One day, after yet another horrific breakup, I had another realization.
Uh, hello! This is how I feel about myself!
I believed that I’m not worthy of love and every time a relationship ending, it was my fault because I wasn’t “enough.”
I began the journey of learning how to love myself.
So I dedicated the last several years learning how to love myself (and the journey never stops).
(cue amazing soundtrack here...)
I meditated. I traveled. I walked on hot coals. I cried. I spent some serious time on a yoga mat.
I dated every type of man I could just to figure out who I really needed and wanted. I read every book I could find on love and relationships.
I defined my importance.
I stopped hiding.
I showed up.
And not only did I show up, but I fell in love with the woman who was showing up — something that had never happened before. Which made me much more vulnerable. Much more willing to be seen.
I allowed myself to be seen by others and my partners. I decided I was worth loving.
And guess what?
It worked. I have a whole different quality of relationships in my life. I’m not afraid to be me. I show my flaws. I admit my vulnerabilities. I now only choose and create relationships that are filled with juicy vulnerability and transparency. I choose relationships with people who don't tolerate me “hiding.” I push my limits of vulnerability because it works.
And after all of that…. I found a beautifully authentic, healthy relationship with my soon to be husband!
And that’s why I do what I do. I take everything from my 20+ years as a mental health professional and everything people like you want — to be loved, wanted, seen, and desired — and together, we map out a plan to find the One (or the Ones) that will fall in love with your YOU.
I don't preach from the pulpit. I join you where you are. I can be your guide, your mentor, your coach, but only through the eyes of my own human experience. Together, we will find your path to love.