Last week I took a rather amazing healing journey to Santa Fe, New Mexico. This trip was not planned as a solo trip. It was meant to be a vacation with my boyfriend. And if you’ve been following my blog the last few weeks, you know that he is no longer my boyfriend.
My journey inspired me a great deal. So much, that I wanted to share an important lesson with you. The lesson is this: you have immense power to heal and create your life experiences, no matter what the circumstances (including your relationship experiences). To help you understand how to use this power, I want to share my story through a series of decision points. What is a decision point you may ask? Well, it’s just that. It is a point in which you must make a decision. Life is just a series of decision points… and we always have the power to choose which decisions to make. Here’s how this works…
Decision point one.
I valued myself enough to let go of a relationship that wasn't working, even though my mind wanted to hold on to the impossible. I remembered that relationships present themselves to us for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. This one was a clear reason and a season.
Decision point two.
I could cancel the trip to Santa Fe because it would be too painful to think of US not being there together. Instead, I chose to go anyway, deciding that it was a good way to heal my wounded heart.
Decision point three.
When I arrived at my beautiful little adobe casita, I was welcomed with a sign on the front door that said “Amor”… it was the love casita! (Amor means “love” in Spanish). I could have burst into tears over Casita Amor, because it was a reminder of what was lost. Or…I could choose to see this as the Universe welcoming me in love. As I explored in curious anticipation, I found myself surrounded by these beautiful artistic reminders of love, everywhere I looked. The owner of the house obviously has a creative, artistic flair, and a love for...love! How perfect that I would be in this place… as a girl who is fascinated with teaching herself and others about love.
Decision point four.
I could instantly move into sadness and grief while focusing on this house that was intended to be a romantic love nest for the perfect couple’s getaway. I could have looked at everything in it as a reminder of what was lost. But I didn’t. I chose to see this as the self-love nest, and a big hug from the Universe. I saw nurturing instead of an opportunity for sadness and grief.
Decision point five.
I could get groceries, hide in my casita, alone, and embellish and encourage the empty desperation of loneliness. But not this time….instead I chose to take myself out to a romantic restaurant every single night. I savored my aloneness, and my freedom. I took it in. I sat alone with courage and confidence. It was actually quite fun. I had no one to please. I met interesting people. And no, this wasn’t lonely AT ALL. I wasn’t looking through my lonely lens. I was looking through my lens of joy, freedom, playfulness and love. I loved myself back to life. I applied medicine to my wounds before they became infected. I cared for me in the way I wanted my beloved to care for me. I looked for my beloved and found her within me.
What you see is what you get. I could have had a sad and lonely trip. I could still be lost in heartbreak. I could be depressed and angry. But I got everything I was looking for. I saw healing. I saw expectation. I saw love in my future, bigger, and brighter, more tender, more passionate, more alive and engaged, safe, and steady. I trusted that everything is working out for me because when I look for evidence of this, I see it everywhere. I believe the Universe is conspiring in my favor, even when I’m lost in the storms of life. This is what I decided to see, and it made all the difference in the world.
What’s in this for you?
How do you want to see your relationships? Do you want to focus on love or despair? Fear or eager anticipation? What do you want to get out of the circumstances of your life right now? You can see whatever you want to see. You can create any story you want to create. Your story will dictate your emotions. Your emotions will dictate your behaviors. Your behaviors will dictate your life. What do you want to see?