Since I was a child, I always wished that I could transcend this cage of bones and skin that create a boundary between physical and that which cannot be touched or seen, and only felt or experienced- as in, the essence of you- the personality- the soul-the spirit... That which has no form but somehow fills the space of our physical bodies and creates depth and meaning and uniqueness.
I’m not preaching a spiritual or religious rant here. That being said, I personally have an unwavering belief that there is something beneath my bag of bones- an essence, a spirit, a soul, an energy. I have no doubt that it exists in all of us, and that our bodies are simply that…our bodies. They are not our personality, they are not our essence. They are not our truth. Our bodies are just decoration for the persona within.
When you combine dating with said bag of bones, things can become rather complicated.
We can swim around on the surface and never dive into the depths of truly knowing or seeing a partner.
Have you ever wondered why we get so caught up in the physical? Why we can’t seem to get past the crooked teeth, the leathered skin, the bulging belly?
While I believe that physical attraction is crucial to chemistry in a relationship, it has a knack for preventing us from seeing the light in another human being.
Imagine my fantasy with me for a minute…I like to call it namaste dating.
“Namaste” simply translates into this: the divine in me honors the divine in you.
Wouldn’t dating be easier if we just focused on looking deep into each other’s souls and greeted each other out of pure connection, truth, and curiosity? Wouldn’t it be easier if we honored the divine in each other?
Instead of just offering our standard “namaste” at the end of our yoga classes, we’d offer it when we met each other in the grocery store, or on our first date. Namaste, baby. Namaste.
If we namaste’d each other and saw beyond the bag of bones, we might be able to transcend the limitations of our earthly fears, doubts, and the self-conscious lies that limit us. We might be able to peer into our beloved’s eyes and see their light and their purity.
Their wrinkles, short legs, tall legs, saggy arm skins, curvy thighs, too small this, or too big that, gray hairs, balding heads, age spots, std’s, unibrows, might all dissolve into nothingness and meaninglessness and the bag of bones would just become that…a bag of bones. It would become meaningless decoration, not the truth of our being.
We become afraid that if someone peered that deeply into us, they would be frightened away because of all of the baggage we’ve accumulated over the years.
It's this baggage that has deadened us and dimmed our light, messages from years past that convinced us that we were broken, damaged, undeserving, or somehow not good enough for anyone to truly love us.
What if you had a partner who could peer through the multilayered defenses that had leathered and toughened over the years of salty tears, whispered fears, and the doubts of your brilliance?
What if you could shine through the cloud that deadens your light? What if someone adored you, despite your imperfections, your darkness, your weakness?
Could truth turn you on?
Would you be more open, confident, and secure?
Could you be more authentic? Courageous? Free?
Can you imagine being truly witnessed by your beloved, and loved for your truth? Isn’t that what we are all craving, if we were honest with ourselves and each other?
Gently challenge yourself to see the space between the bones and allow your space to be witnessed, without fear, without shame. Trust that it is in this space where true love resides.