Are you a Love Connector with an anxious attachment? If you’re not sure, you can take the Love Style quiz here to find out.
Love Connectors have a strong need for intimacy, connection, and reassurance in a relationship. Their brains are wired to keep a partner close and they often find themselves pursuing partners who want more distance in their relationships, like the intimacy avoiding Love Resister.
If you’re a Love Connector, watch out for some of these common dating mistakes:
1) Ignoring your intuition.
Your Love Connector brain can work hard to override your gut instincts that a partner or a certain relationship isn’t right for you. A Love Connector’s brain wants to connect at any cost, so it can often overlook the negative aspects of a partner. Bottom line: If you have any sense that something isn’t good for you, trust it.
2) Hiding your true self.
Are you afraid to be seen? Do you hide aspects of yourself in hopes of pleasing your partner?
Again, the Love Connector brain will do what it perceives is necessary to keep a partner
close. If you somehow believe that you have something undesirable to your partner, you may
find yourself hiding, whether it be likes or dislikes, abilities, hopes and desires, and other
The reality is that you can only hide for so long. Eventually a partner will get
to know you, so its better to be authentic from the beginning, and to be courageous enough to
love yourself AND let yourself be fully seen.
3) Denying your needs.
When the Love Connector wants connection and reassurance from a partner, they often fear
that they will seem too needy or clingy, so they deny their needs. If this persists for too long,
the Love Connector may become resentful that their partner isn’t anticipating and meeting
their needs for connection. They also can’t develop a relationship that truly meets their needs
If you’re a Love Connector, its important to realize that your needs are your needs. They are
not too clingy or needy. The right partner will be able to meet your needs and will not perceive
you as being too much.
4) Giving three (or more) chances.
If you have a partner that keeps disappointing or hurting you in some way, remember this:
Once is a mistake. Twice is a pattern. If you are allowing your partner to repeatedly hurt you
in the same ways, it is likely that your Love Connector brain is overlooking this in order to
keep you connected. It has a knack for helping you forgive and minimize negative and
sometimes outright abusive behaviors in a partner.
If you’re not sure if you should give your partner another chance, ask a friend for advice and
5) Dating avoidant partners.
The most incompatible attachment style for a Love Connector with an anxious attachment is
to date a Love Resister with an avoidant attachment. Your needs for connection, intimacy,
and reassurance in the relationship always push Love Resisters away.
Not sure if your partner is a Love Resister? A few tell-tale signs are that they distance when
things get close, avoid commitment and intimacy, and have a history of non-committal
For more information on dealing with your Love Connector brain, check out the Love Styles online courses here.