Think back to the last time you had your heart broken. The last time you felt rejected. Maybe you’re there right now.
Listen to the voices in your head… you know, that inner commentary that incessantly runs in your mind all day long. What are they telling you?
You’re not good enough. Pretty enough. Smart enough. Healthy enough. Successful enough. You’re too busy. You have no life. You have too many friends. You have no friends. Blah blah blah.
I want you to ask yourself one question:
WHO DOES THIS BELONG TO?
Who’s voice is in your head, tarnishing your significance? Who’s voice is this, making you feel less than who you truly are inside?
Is it your father’s? Your mother’s? The editor of Cosmopolitan magazine? The guys at the gym? Your last partner?
If you’re unsure of where the voice came from, ask yourself if you believe it was there when you were an infant? I’m willing to bet they weren’t. And in that case, you are likely listening to an influential, critical voice of someone, somewhere, that somehow got under your skin and into your mind, convincing you that something is wrong with you.
As humans, we tend to accumulate these negative messages throughout the years, and then we enter into relationships carrying a load of heavy baggage. We make assumptions. We misperceive our partner’s perceptions and intentions. We react instead of respond. We hurt and we feel hurt.
With every rejection or broken heart, the voices tend to move from a whisper to a roar until we begin to believe everything we’ve ever been told or perceived to be true over time.
What if you weren’t the voices in your head? What if you had awareness of the being inside, free of the judgment and criticism. Who would you be? How would you feel? Would you feel lighter?
If you had positive voices telling you that you were perfect exactly as you are, would you own that rejection?
Could you start seeing a breakup or a rejection as simply a misalignment of two human beings instead of a statement of your worth? It was just a mismatch. Or perhaps, the timing was off, but the match was a good one. What if?
I challenge you to start asking this question throughout your days, and especially on the days that you’re beating yourself up. Acknowledge their separation from you. Free yourself from the heavy baggage that’s been weighing you down for years. Allow yourself to be you, perfectly imperfect, worth loving and acceptance.