I love being rejected.
Well, truth be told, I don't necessarily love the sting of it when it happens, but you see, I've learned to love it. How is that? I'm sure you are probably wondering.
In my mind, if I don't love a good rejection, that simply means I'm attached to an outcome over which I have no control. Or, I'm living in the mindset of fear and scarcity, and I want nothing to do with that. Not my thing.
If you've followed me long enough, you probably have heard me say that rejection is a story, and we are the author of our rejection stories. We create the story line to make sense of the events in our lives.
It goes like this: Someone breaks up with you, ghosts you, cheats on you, ignores you, etc, etc, etc. Then you tell yourself that you've been rejected. Ouch. It stings.
That word...rejection...it is powerful. It is usually connected to a painful myth that we are somehow not good enough for this person who has chosen not to be with us. If you've have a lifetime's worth of other perceived rejections, this becomes one more chapter in your not-good-enough novel.
But guess what...I have a magic cure that will help you NEVER be rejected again. True story.
The cure is YOU.
If you could recognize the power you have to create a story about anything and everything that happens to you, you would never feel rejected again. You may experience plenty of "rejections" but the story you tell will be anything but.
I used to feel rejected all the time, but now I rewrite my rejection experiences into stories of redemption, learning opportunities, and self-love. I see the gift in every rejection. I thank the men who said no. I open my heart for more. Crazy, but less painful.
Are you up for a challenge?
I’m going to share a few of my rejection turned redemption stories here. Then I want to hear from you.
Author your own rejection redemption story.
Take a recent perceived rejection and rewrite your story. Tell me how your perceived rejection was actually a gift to you. Post them in the comments below. Let's create some redemption together.
Here are some of my rejection redemptions:
**Note: these identities have been changed in my mind, heart, and cell phone primarily to recreate the meaning of these relationships, and of course, to protect their privacy. I encourage you to take up the practice of changing the names of your past lovers. It is incredibly redeeming.
Thank you Teacher of Self-Love, for co-creating a situation with me that lead me to extreme self-doubt, and questioning. Thank you for ignoring my texts for days when we were months into our relationship so that I chose to sit under a tree and meditate myself into a golden epiphany- the one that helped me realize why I kept attracting partners like you into my life. It was that moment under the tree that I healed a wound that had been there since I was a child. It was in that moment that I began to reclaim my self, and see my worth, and speak my truth to the world so that others don’t have to live with this kind of treatment in their relationships.
Thank you Integrity-NOT for teaching me about attachment and how an anxiously attached Love Connector can remain blind to cheating, lying, disrespect, all for the sake of keeping an attachment. You were the beginning of a journey of self-exploration that continues to this day and for that, I am forever grateful.
Thank you Great Pretender, for pretending to want a future with me for ten months of my life, so that you could then decide you just wanted a casual relationship. I learned for the last time that purposely ignoring my intuition was simply dumb. Thank you for strengthening the belief in my intuition and for clearing the way for new love in my life.
Thank you Professor Of All Things Confusing, for inviting me into a dreamy, romantic weekend with you so that you could walk into my house a day later, avoid eye contact, and reject me because you don't believe in things like pursuing personal growth, aka, me. I doubted your intentions in the beginning, only to be met with your resolve that you wanted this. Thank you for teaching me to stand true to my rules for dating engagement in the future. I am so much stronger now.
Thank you Return To Sender With Consciousness, for only being a blip on my radar because I now fully trust my intuition. I had a sneaking suspicion you would have been a train wreck of a partner later on, and therefore I left you before I needed confirmation... Yes! Bullet dodged before you had a chance to reject me.
Thank you Too Scared To Love for rejecting me at a time that I really, truly needed another human to love and accept me. The tailspin that your rejection sent me into for a brief moment in time served to guide me into more self-love, inspired creativity, and unwavering trust that the Universe always has my back, including other men who are unafraid to love and accept me for who I am.
Thank you Dream Date, for your honesty, prior to our very first date, that you were already falling in love with someone and that it would be out of integrity for you not to disclose this. Thank you for giving me evidence that there are decent, moral, conscious men in the world who care about the tenderness of a woman’s heart. Yes indeed...I’ll have more of that.