Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Do you suspect or know that your partner, parent, or other significant person in your life is a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath? Or maybe you are searching for answers because your partner is no longer the person you fell in love with. You can't make sense of their cruel, erratic, crazy-making behavior or their Jekyll and Hyde personality. "Toxic" may be the best description you can find to make sense of the abuse you've experienced.
You don't have to be an expert who can diagnose your partner or family member to know something is wrong.
You may be a survivor of a relationship that has created a pattern of coercive control, intimate partner or domestic violence, or other forms of abuse. What this means is that your partner (or family member) could have traits of, or a full-blown diagnosis of narcissistic, antisocial, or borderline personality disorder, or even psychopathy. Regardless of whether we have an answer to this, their personality "pathology" will lead to inevitable harm if you are their partner, child, or family member. We call this a "pathological love relationship," (a PLR) a term coined by Sandra L. Brown, MA, a leading researcher in the field of research and treatment of survivors of this type of abuse. Dr. Ramani Durvasala refers to these relationships as antagonistic. No matter the terminology, the damage to survivors can be completely devastating.
​You don't have to be an expert to diagnose your partner. Instead, one telltale way to know if you've been in a PLR is that you may be experiencing what we call the "hallmark trauma symptom" of a pathological love relationship. This is called "COGNITIVE DISSONANCE," another concept coined by Sandra L. Brown, MA.
​If you find yourself constantly thinking or obsessing over confusing thoughts about your partner or your relationship, you are likely experiencing it. You may feel overwhelmed with confusion and "looped thinking" centered around trying to decide if your partner is essentially good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. Cognitive dissonance can sound like this:
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​He's my soulmate./He's my abuser.
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She's so loving./She's so cruel.
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This is the best relationship./This is an abusive relationship.
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I would never tolerate abuse./Why do I keep tolerating this abuse?
​CD can be debilitating and can make it feel impossible to leave, or to fully heal after you've left because you're still reeling with indecision about your partner and the relationship.
​THIS IS A SYMPTOM OF TRAUMA AND INDICATES YOU HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A PATHOLOGICAL PARTNER. It is important to seek therapy to help you heal.
Along with 30 years of clinical experience and extensive trauma treatment training, I am certified as a Narcissistic Abuse and Survivor Treatment Clinician (NAST) through the Association for NPD/Psychopathy Survivor Treatment, Research, & Education (The International Associational Body for the Narcissistic Abuse Counseling Field), and offer the most current, trauma-informed, research-backed care available in this field.
How to work with me
INDIVIDUAL THERAPY
I provide individual therapy to individuals (all genders) who have experienced abuse by a partner, parent, or other person who has suspected or known traits of narcissistic, antisocial, or borderline personality disorders or psychopathy. I can only provide therapy to people residing in the state of Colorado due to licensing regulations.
I am also a survivor. I get it. This will not be an experience where you are gaslit, misunderstood, or made to feel like this was your fault. I will help you understand exactly how and why you were abused in this way, how to heal, and how to prevent it from happening in the future (if this was a partner or friend).
Did you know?
These are some common physical symptoms seen in survivors of narcissistic abuse and pathological love relationships:
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Panic attacks: A panic attack is an abrupt onset of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes. Symptoms usually include at least four of the following: palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate; sweating; trembling; shaking; sensations of shortness of breath or smothering also can occur.​
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Insomnia: The constant stress, fear, and anxiety make it hard to fall asleep or stay asleep. This can make it difficult to tend to daily tasks the next day.
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Excessive fatigue: Often, fatigue goes hand in hand with insomnia. Survivors report staying up all night and sleeping all day. This extreme fatigue can also be due to the extraordinary amount of stress on the body that the body just needs to shut down to getaway.
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Thyroid or adrenal problems: These glands excrete hormones needed for metabolism. Too much or not enough of these hormones can lead to lethargy or too much energy.
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Agitation: Survivors are typically in a constant state of being angry or on high alert due to the unpredictable, stressful environment of being around the abuser.
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Feeling numb: Some survivors turn off emotions in order to avoid feeling any more pain.
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Abnormally high heart rate (tachycardia): Stress can lead to a heart rate that is too fast.
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High cholesterol: It is easy to let go of healthy habits when faced with life changes and stress.
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Intestinal Issues: Diarrhea, constipation, IBS, Crohn’s Disease
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Pain or muscle tension: Stress hormones keep the body in a tense, rigid state
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Weight gain around the belly: Cortisol is stored in body fat, particularly around the belly region
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Hypervigilance: Feeling edgy, easily startled, never able to relax.
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Chronic illness, disease, pain, or unexplainable symptoms in the body: There is a high occurrence of this in survivors of this toxic abuse.
I offer an integrated approach to helping you identify and heal your trauma that affects mind, body, and spirt.
Sometimes we just need a little help to reconnect us to our innate wisdom. It is always there, even if you feel lost, unsteady, or impossibly overwhelmed. Together, we can get you there.
