Narcissistic Abuse Recovery
Do you suspect or know that your partner is a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath? Or maybe you are searching for answers because your partner is no longer the person you fell in love with. You can't make sense of their cruel, erratic, crazy-making behavior or their Jekyll and Hyde personality. "Toxic" may be the best description you can find to make sense of the abuse you've experienced.
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The truth is, you don't have to be an expert who can diagnose your partner to know that something is deeply wrong.
You may be a survivor of a "pathological love relationship" or a "PLR."
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Does this mean you are crazy or pathological?
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NO. You are not crazy! But it does mean that your partner could have traits or a full-blown diagnosis of narcissistic, antisocial, or borderline personality disorder. They could also be a psychopath. Regardless of whether we have an answer to this, at the end of the day, their personality "pathology" will lead to inevitable harm if you are their partner. We call this a "pathological love relationship," (a PLR) a term coined by Sandra L. Brown, MA, my mentor and a pioneer in the field of research and treatment of survivors of this type of abuse.
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You don't have to be an expert to diagnose your partner. Instead, one telltale way to know if you've been in a PLR is that you may be experiencing what we call the "hallmark trauma symptom" of a pathological love relationship. This is called "COGNITIVE DISSONANCE," another concept coined by Sandra L. Brown, MA.
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If you find yourself constantly thinking or obsessing over confusing thoughts about your partner or your relationship, you are likely experiencing it. You may feel overwhelmed with confusion and "looped thinking" centered around trying to decide if your partner is essentially good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. Cognitive dissonance can sound like this:
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He's my soulmate./He's my abuser.
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She's so loving./She's so cruel.
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This is the best relationship./This is an abusive relationship.
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I would never tolerate abuse./Why do I keep tolerating this abuse?
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CD can be debilitating and can make it feel impossible to leave, or to fully heal after you've left because you're still reeling with indecision about your partner and the relationship.
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THIS IS A SYMPTOM OF TRAUMA AND INDICATES YOU HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A PATHOLOGICAL PARTNER. It is important to seek therapy to help you heal.
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I offer individual therapy and an 8-week online program for survivors to help you in your healing journey.
Along with 30 years of clinical experience and extensive trauma treatment training, I have completed all available training offered by Sandra L. Brown, MA, and the Association for NPD/Psychopathy Survivor Treatment, Research, & Education (The International Associational Body for the Narcissistic Abuse Counseling Field), and offer the most current, trauma-informed, research-backed care available in this field.
HOw to work with me
INDIVIDUAL THERAPY
I provide individual therapy to individuals (all genders) who have experienced abuse by a partner, parent, or other person who has suspected or known traits of narcissistic, antisocial, or borderline personality disorders or psychopathy. I can only provide therapy to people residing in the state of Colorado due to licensing regulations.
I am also a survivor. I get it. This will not be an experience where you are gaslit, misunderstood, or made to feel like this was your fault. I will help you understand exactly how and why you were abused in this way, how to heal, and how to prevent it from happening in the future (if this was a partner or friend).
NARCISSISTIC ABUSE RECOVERY PROGRAM FOR WOMEN
Many survivors struggle to find a therapist who is trained appropriately or who "gets it" when it comes to narcissistic abuse. Others may not have access to therapy or affordable care. This is why I created "The Nest."
This is not a substitute for therapy, but it is a highly educational, trauma-focused and trauma-informed 8-week online program for survivors. No matter your stage in the journey (from in the relationship to 20 years out!), all are welcome and will benefit from this.
Did you know?
These are some common physical symptoms seen in
survivors of narcissistic abuse and pathological love relationships:
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Panic attacks: A panic attack is an abrupt onset of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes. Symptoms usually include at least four of the following: palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate; sweating; trembling; shaking; sensations of shortness of breath or smothering also can occur.
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Insomnia: The constant stress, fear, and anxiety make it hard to fall asleep or stay asleep. This can make it difficult to tend to daily tasks the next day.
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Excessive fatigue: Often, fatigue goes hand in hand with insomnia. Survivors report staying up all night and sleeping all day. This extreme fatigue can also be due to the extraordinary amount of stress on the body that the body just needs to shut down to getaway.
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Thyroid or adrenal problems: These glands excrete hormones needed for metabolism. Too much or not enough of these hormones can lead to lethargy or too much energy.
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Agitation: Survivors are typically in a constant state of being angry or on high alert due to the unpredictable, stressful environment of being around the abuser.
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Feeling numb: Some survivors turn off emotions in order to avoid feeling any more pain.
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Abnormally high heart rate (tachycardia): Stress can lead to a heart rate that is too fast.
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High cholesterol: It is easy to let go of healthy habits when faced with life changes and stress.
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Intestinal Issues: Diarrhea, constipation, IBS, Crohn’s Disease
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Pain or muscle tension: Stress hormones keep the body in a tense, rigid state
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Weight gain around the belly: Cortisol is stored in body fat, particularly around the belly region
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Hypervigilance: Feeling edgy, easily startled, never able to relax.
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Chronic illness, disease, pain, or unexplainable symptoms in the body: There is a high occurrence of this in survivors of this toxic abuse.
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I offer an integrated approach to helping you identify and heal your trauma that affects mind, body, and spirt.
You have everything you need within you
to survive and thrive.
Sometimes we just need a little help to reconnect us to our innate wisdom. It is always there, even if you feel lost, unsteady, or impossibly overwhelmed. Together, we can get you there.